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Pacific Northwest Jokes


You know you are from the Pacific Northwest if:

What is it really like to live in the Pacific Northwest?  These jokes may make you wonder.

You know the state flower is mildew.

You know the state motto:  "Rain? What rain?"

You have a T-shirt that says, "200 Billion Slugs Can't Be Wrong!"

You use the term "sun break" and know what it means.

You open the windows in the summer to let the warm air in.

Your Early Girl tomatoes ripen in September.

Names like Point No Point, Useless Bay, Deception Pass, Destruction Island and Friday Harbor don't phase you.

You feel guilty throwing out paper or aluminum cans.

To you, if it doesn't have snow or hasn't erupted recently, it is not a real mountain.

You know more people who own a boat than own an air conditioner.

You will stand on a deserted corner in the rain and wait for the "Walk" signal.

You feel overdressed if you wear a suit to a fancy restaurant.

You can order coffee 10 different ways.

You can taste the difference between Seattle's Best, Tully's and Starbucks.

To you, swimming is an indoor sport.

You never go camping without a poncho and waterproof matches.

You know the difference between Coho, Chinook, and Sockeye salmon.

You know how to pronounce Puyallup, Sequim, Sekiu, Yakima, Oregon, Wenatchee, Steilacoom, Quileute, Cle Elum and Willamette.

You know Forks is not a bunch of eating utensil but a town on the Olympic Peninsula.

You can tell the difference between Thai, Japanese and Chinese food.

You know that Boring is not a state of mind, but a town in Oregon.

You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

You know that a forecast of "rain, changing to showers" means "constant drizzle changing to intermittent drizzle."

You are not fazed by the weather forecast, "Today:  Showers followed by rain.  Tomorrow:  Rain followed by showers."

You rejoice at a forecast of "rain with sun breaks."

You know what "The mountain is out" means.

When the temperature gets above 50, you put on your shorts (If you're warm blooded, that is. If you're cold blooded, you wear a sweatshirt all summer.)

You can point out at least two volcanoes, even if you can't see through the cloud cover.

You think people who use umbrellas are either tourists or wimps (or both).

You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

You knew immediately that the view out of Frazier's window was fake.

You use a down comforter and wear flannel pajamas in the summer.

Your kid's Halloween costumes fit under a raincoat.

You know all the seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer and Elk season (Fall).

Every year you have to buy new sunglasses because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.



For six days God could not be found. Finally, on the seventh day, Michael, the archangel, found Him.

"Where have You been?" Michael asked.

God smiled deeply and proudly and pointed down through the clouds. "Look," He said. "Look what I've made."

Michael looked down, but was puzzled. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's a planet. And I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance? What do you mean?" asked Michael.

Pointing to the different parts of the Earth, God explained. "Over there I've place a continent of black people and there I've placed a continent of white people. Europe will have wealth an opportunity, Africa will be poor. There it will be extremely cold and there it will be extremely hot. Everything is in Balance."

The Archangel was impressed. He pointed out a land area and said, "What is that?"

"That's Washington State," said God, "the most glorious place on earth. It has beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers and streams, hills, forests and plains. The people there will be handsome, intelligent, modest and humorous. They will be hardworking, high achieving, sociable and producers of software."

Michael was in awe and filled with admiration. He asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled. "Yes," He said, "There's another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put in that place!"

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