|One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.|
Funny Clean Police Jokes
During an exam, a police recruit was asked what he would do if his job required him to arrest his own mother. His response was, "Call for backup."
The Driving Test
A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
"What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer.
"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."
"Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer.
So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches
A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his
Children in Halloween Costumes Foil Robbery!
In an unprecedented display of quick thinking, local second graders Terrance McKinley and Jason Lawrence stopped an armed robbery last Saturday, October 31st. The young boys, who wore police officer costumes for Halloween, went Trick or Treating with Mrs. McKinley at Z & Z corner market. When they entered the store, they saw a masked man at the counter and brandished their firearms. Terrance screamed, "Halt, in the name of the law!" The offender dropped his gun and put his hands in the air long enough for the cashier in attendance to restrain the criminal. When interviewed, Terrance said simply: "I thought we were playing cops and robbers."
Ticket Training Joke
Three Southerners and three Yankees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Yankees each buy a train ticket and watch as the three Southerners buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Yankee.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the Southerners.
They all board the train. The Yankees take their respective seats but all three Southerners cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Yankees see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Yankees decide to copy the Southerners on the return trip and save some money (being tight with money, and all that).
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Southerners don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Yankee.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a Southerner.
When they board the train, the three Yankees cram into a restroom and the three Southerners cram into another one nearby. The train departs.
Shortly afterward, one of the Southerners leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Yankees are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."
Men vs Women Jokes
Old Age Jokes
Out of the Mouth of Babes
Choir Proficiency Test
Pet Animal Jokes
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