Implements of Math Destruction
Was the teacher trying to create math destruction?
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At
New York's Kennedy airport today an individual, later discovered
to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board
a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a
square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
The Attorney General believes the man is a member
of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged
with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", the Attorney General
said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes,
and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute
value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names
like "x" and "y", and, although they
are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know
they really belong to a common denominator and are part
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to
say, there are three sides to every triangle." When asked
to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If
God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction,
He would have given us more fingers and toes."
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