Getting Older

If all is not lost, where is it?

• I started out with nothing ... I still have most of it.
  
  
• When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?
  
  
• I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
  
  
• Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
  
  
• All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
  
  
• If all is not lost, where is it?
  
  
• It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
  
  
• The first rule of holes:  If you are in one, stop digging.
  
  
• I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
  
  
• It was all so different before everything changed.
  
  
• Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
  
  
• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  
  
• I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few ...
  
  
• It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
  
  
• It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  
  
• The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  
  
• If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
  
  
• When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  
  
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  
  
• It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.

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