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Getting Older Jokes

If all is not lost, where is it?
Getting Older Jokes

More Old Age Jokes

  • When you get old, your secrets are safe with your friends. They'll never share them because they can't remember them.

  • At my age, I don't want to eat health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

  • You can't be young forever, but immaturity can last a life time.

  • I'm done with wild oats. Now I'm into prunes and All Bran.

  • Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

  • You know you're getting old when you look in the mirror to shave and realize that the face you're looking at is your father's.

  • I knew the romance was gone when I drank champagne out of the old girl's slipper and choked on a Dr. Scholl's insert.

  • The paper sent a reporter to interview me on my 90th birthday. "What's the secret to longevity?" he asked. "Simple," I said. "Keep breathing."

  • Isn't it nice that wrinkles don't hurt?

  • I knew I was getting bald because it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

  • I started out with nothing ... I still have most of it.

  • I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

  • Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

  • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

  • It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

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